She's going to be going to a party this weekend, with Circle K people...meaning he'll be there.....and she's 99% likely going to be drinking....meaning they're going to hook up, making out at BEST. god damn it.
why is this shit happening to me. i didn't deserve it. i only did what i knew how and tried to treat her right. i didn't do anything wrong.
and i know i can't control her now. or have any say in what she does.
but how can she not feel bad about doing this to me? how will she be able to kiss him, to make out with him, to do all this shit without any remorse?
this is so fucked up.
she doesn't love me. she says she does, but she doesn't. i don't know when she stopped. but you can't just make out with someone else (and who knows how far they'll go) and claim to still love that person. of course she feels bad for me, because she KNOWS that it's her fucking fault that i'm going through this pain. but that's not love. that's guilt.
this isn't what you do to someone you love.
i knew that this would come and it would happen, so i don't know why i'm so shocked and hurt as much as if we just broke up yesterday
another kicker--today he wrote on her wall "smile! :)" like a little fucking bitch. of course he knows i'll read it and see it. fucking dagger in the heart. and i can't do shit about any of it.
it'll be interesting to see if she's at PCM tomorrow. i don't know if i want her to be or not. in some ways this is harder than 2 weeks ago because this time I don't have a plan to talk to her afterwards. i don't know what i'm going to do.
fuck him in the ass and fuck this
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